Unquiet Mind

"We all build internal sea walls to keep at bay the sadnesses of life and the often overwhelming forces within our minds. In whatever way we do this -- through love, work, family, faith, friends, denial, alcohol, drugs, or medication -- we build these walls, stone by stone, over a lifetime. One of the most difficult problems is to construct these barriers of such a height and strength that one has a true harbor, a sanctuary away from crippling turmoil and pain, but yet low enough, and permeable enough, to let in fresh seawater that will fend off the inevitable inclination toward brackishness. For someone with my cast of mind and mood, medication is an integral element of this wall: without it, I would be constantly beholden to the crushing movements of a mental sea; I would, unquestionably, be dead or insane. But love is, to me, the ultimately more extraordinary part of the breakwater wall: it helps to shut out the terror and awfulness, while, at the same time, allowing in life and beauty and vitality. When I first thought of this book, I conceived of it as a book about moods, and an illness of moods, in the context of an individual life. As I have written it, however, it has somehow turned out to be very much a book about love as well: love as sustainer, as renewer, and as protector. After each seeming death within my mind or heart, love has returned to recreate hope and to restore life. It has, at its best, made the inherent sadness of life bearable, and its beauty manifest. It has, inexplicably and savingly, provided not only cloak but lantern for the darker seasons and grimmer weather. I long ago abandoned the notion of a life without storms, or a world without dry and killing seasons. Life is too complicated, too constantly changing, to be anything but what it is. And I am, by nature, too mercurial to be anything but deeply wary of the grave unnaturalness involved in any attempt to exert too much control over essentially uncontrollable forces. There will always be propelling, disturbing elements, and they will be there until, as Lowell put it, the watch is taken from the wrist. It is, at the end of the day, the individual moments of restlessness, of bleakness, of strong persuasions and maddened enthusiasms, that inform one's life, change the nature and direction of one's work, and give final meaning and color to one's loves and friendships."

Is the customer always right?

Yesterday, I got shit talk from my customer. Sorry to use that bad word again and again this month. I don’t want to hear it or use it anymore. But, it is the truth that the Hong Kong Kitchen customer used abusive language to me on the telephone yesterday. What would you do if you are in my shoes? Is the customer always right? I tried not to lose my temper though.

I packed most of the food orders yesterday. One of the customers called me back and said that “Sweet and Sour Sauce and Gravy Sauce are missing from the food bag”. First, I was so shocked because things never happen to me like that in the past. I asked the customers to come and pick them up again. They said they cannot come back gain. They said either send the two sauces by taxi or reimburse the money next time when they come to HKK. I am NOT the boss and I don’t have the right to make decision. What do you think? So, I told them that I would call them back after discussing with my bosses.

So, I talked to my bosses and my bosses said that they would reimburse it next time. So, I called that guy back and asked information: Name, Address, and What food they ordered. And GUESS WHAT? He got mad at me for not calling him back in two minutes and started attacking me verbally for nonstop. I called him back after five minutes I guess. Come on, he was not the only customer that I was serving; there were only two staffs at front. I have tons of other stuffs to do at work. He also included the fact that the food taste awful and dry without the sauces. I did not know how to handle the problem and hang up the phone. My female boss shook head (implying that we are busy; hang up the phone). For me, it would be very rude to hang up the phone until the customer finished his speech. I do RESPECT my customer. So, I keep listening like 5 minutes on the phone. And finally, I whispered my female boss (in front of me) that “he had not stopped talking yet”. And I believe that that guy, on the phone, over heard what I told to my boss and asked me how much is the sauce frankly. I answered “it is only two dollars worth”. And what do you think he said? He said, “Stick it to you ass and I don’t want it back.” I was horrified and shocked when I heard that. I did not know how to attack back and I don’t have the intention to attack back either. I don’t want to regret after saying something bad. Come on. I listened his complain and anger PATIENTLY, I treated my customer with RESPECT, I tried to compromise (said that "we will reimburse them next time") and I did not attack them back.

I tried to recall my memory and I am sure that I put everything in the bag. I put every food that the chef gave me.

My colleague and boss taught me that some customers want food free or more food, so they say things like that. My colleague said that he caught a lady, who always complain this and that are missing after several weeks of food ordering. He told me that "try to remember that customer’s name and next time just be careful." My colleague took pity on me and gave me one cookie. My male boss taught me how to solve that kind of problem next time:

1. "Never call the angry customer back again. Try to solve the problem on the spot."
2. "Don't talk too long on the phone. The longer you talk, the more shit that you will get."

If I were in my first year at university, I would get too upset/ dramatic and cry at the spot with this situation. No one really talk to me like that. But, now I am mature more and I have the courage to face it. Since the food bag is with customer, I cannot prove my 100% righteous. No one is perfect, but the customer does not need to say such abusive language to me, when I am being patient and polite with them. I was just sad and embarrassed at the same time. That is all I have to confide in with you guys. Thank you for listening.

Oh here is one funny story about food ordering at fast food. Really funny. Enjoy. Click here or below.

Social cohesion and tolerance

Could education and history play a part in the creation of common myths and ideals to create greater social cohesion?

It is important to define the notion of social cohesion before going further on education and history of Canada. The first meaning implies that social cohesion reinforces the homogeny in the society, the cooperative social interactions and same collective value systems, which encourage a sense of belongings. However, the first notion of social cohesion could be a challenge when regionalism, localisms, the immigrants and multiculturalism come in. Therefore, secondly, social cohesion could be defined that individuals in civil society should get an opportunity to express their free wills through democratic voice. However, in the end, the ideal is tolerance and participation will bring people together no matter which notion of social cohesion is taken. The tolerance should be more than begrudging acceptance and apathy because discrimination and racism could be taken place in the community. On the other hand, should all the cultural practices be tolerated or should "a limit of acceptable heterogeneity" be acknowledged, however liberal a society is?

Please, don't forget Burma

The history of a nation changes gradually over time. Coming from Burma, I was painful to see the blood shedding scene for restoration of democracy in Burma. Yet the recent protest draws international attention to Burma’s democracy issue. Now the military regime is having a nationwide referendum in May to create a new constitution. The new constitution will be followed by a multi-party general election in 2010. However, I am concerned that, History is going to repeat itself because this new constitution excludes the religious leaders and political prisoners from voting. Aung Sann Su Kyi (the National League of Democracy leader) will be banned from running for the election, due to her marriage to a foreign citizen. As a result, it will not be a true democratic election. In the 1990 multi-party election, Aung San Suu Kyi's National League for Democracy party won, but the military regime refused to abdicate the power.

I believe that our education is the reflection of our daily life and what society as a whole values. However, our values can sometimes have conflicts and flaws. I think we should start off by educating people about the restoration of TRUE democracy in Burma. Suu Kyi, who is a Nobel Peace Prize Laureate and pro-democracy activist, has been under house arrest since May, 2003, due to her non-violence pro democracy movement. Non-violence movement needs a number of things: a significant number of participants, motivation, organization and leadership skills to steer, networking, commitment, resources and strategies. It also needs accessible media coverage and attention from the people. Literally, non-violence does not exist where it is not seen. This is how we got to know about self-immolating monks of Vietnam and the Palestinian peace activist, Dr. Eyad El-Sarraj’s contribution to the health care of the victims in war zones and genuine reforms for Palestine. One of my Burmese friends said that “it is an existential problem at heart whether or not trees that fell in the woods really fell, when no one is around to hear it. For a social movement, the answer is no one really cares whether or not trees fall, unless they can emotionally bond with the trees through well-composed photography and human interest stories.” Therefore, in this case, we need concerned audience for peaceful democratic movement. The Colonialism did not end only with Gandhi’s march, nor did apartheid with Mandela’s twenty-seven long years of stay in prison. These acts were combined with pressure from national and international forces that moved the British and South African governments respectively.

I believe that non-violence movement (NVM) is the ‘right’ way. But, the key to non-violence is to know when to change and choose confrontation. As my friend said, “NVM is not about ‘peace’, an abstract concept with surprisingly little value in actuality.” Instead, it is about restructuring the costs and benefits for the people involved in responding to a social movement, where the threat of sanctions from third-party actors increase the costs of crackdown to a level that threatens ‘the incumbent power-holder's position’.

The opposition groups to the military junta inside and outside of Burma have been rejecting the regime's announcement of a new constitution saying it is a trick to calm down the rowdy citizens who marched on the streets non-violently for changes in Burma. We need this fast approaching referendum to be based upon freedom of expression associated with fundamental human rights. Based on the news and media, the military government is not playing a fair game with the public. I truly hope that this new constitution has to allow the public participation of all Burmese citizens including different ethnic minority groups and the Burmese exiles. Peace requires participation. Therefore, the political prisoners have to be released. Also, the referendum supervised by a neutral party or a commission and it is important to address the detailed results on news and media. Finally, the government power has to be decentralized and power should be shared with the ethnic minorities. This is just the beginning to bring about true democracy in Burma.

There are choices everywhere: and there are benefits and side-effects of every choice. Democracy is a really weird thing: "a self-correcting – slow feedback – process". Sometimes democracy can "buy the people", it can also "impoverish the people". But, the nature of democracy is intriguing in its own way. Sometimes, as a citizen of Burma, I don’t really care what system I will have, as long as it is a fair system accepted by both the government and the citizens, a system that will reinforce the social cohesion among people (regardless of race, beliefs, colors and gender) and better civilization for the people of Burma.

I do not agree with the new unfair constitution that the military regime is structuring. However, it is very intimidating to vote “NO” to the constitution because I need to provide my Burmese passport and prove that I am 18 years old or above. My passport might not be renewed, if I vote “NO”.

What could Canadians do?

As our non-violent pro-democracy leader said, use your freedom to promote ours. Don’t forget Burma. Speak out against the unfair constitution. Thank you.

For more information: Canadian Friends of Burma Website http://www.cfob.org/

Life has a balance

The Spring Break is almost over now. Monday: school will start again.

Even though I did not have a chance to meet with my Burmese friends this Spring Break Conference, I had nice time in Sackville. Life is not always miserable after all. Two days ago, My Sociology professor took me to Moncton to buy the ingredients for Mohinga Recipe (traditional Burmese food). It was like an adventure that we: professor, her two daughters and I, had adventurous cooking on Mohinga. It took us about an hour to cook Mohinga. Afterwards, I watched Bride and Prejudice with my professor and her daughters at her house. She also gave away the left over for me in containers so that I can share it with my house mates.

That day when we bought ingredients for Mohinga in Moncton, she and her husband (who is also a political professor at Mt. A) treated me with Indian food for lunch at Taj Mahal Restaurant in Moncton. Sadly, I had a car sick that on the way back to Sackville, I puked almost all the Indian food that I ate. I felt so bad to my Prof for my sickness. She is one of the best professors that I have ever known here at Mt. Allison.

Last weekend too, she invited me to her house for the fondue lunch, some intellectual conversations about world news and sociological thoughts, and catching up with Burmese news. I had great time with her, her daughters and her husband. One thing I realized is that I have been so much behind my knowledge in world news and sociological perspectives just at the very beginning of the conversation with my professor.

In the West and big cities, I don’t think the professors will take students (not even to the Canadian students) out for lunch. This must be the Maritime University life. I am fortunate to befriend with my Sociology professor.

Identity and Cultural Fatigue

I have been doing my homework for CAN 2011 and defining Canadian Identity.

There are several ways that one can define the identity: by the governmental organizations, political parties, the international relations with other nations, and the values that Canadian ingrains. In addition, the regional identity could be included too. For instance, Francophone and Anglophone is main thing; the Atlantic Canada is different from other parts of Canada. "Dialectic in Canada and developments out of the dialectic reveal an insistent force of interrelation among political decision making, social policy, religious faith, and erection of public institutions, concepts of public services, philosophical ideas of human meaning and description of individual’s relations to the community."

Much of Canada's history (economic and social structures) is influenced by the "powerful" sibling-hood country, the United States. Canadians embody both individualism and communitarian. I fee like the outcome is distinct in Canada's own cultural fatigue.

Speaking of the IDENTITY question, I quest for my Identity too. Burmese students abroad have great passion to share Burmese Politics and Anti-Governmental Spirit. Seriously, I HAD great fervor in politics and especially on Anti-government however, I sort of felt like people MIGHT not like it when you say it too much. I cannot find the answer why: maybe due to my approach, due to my surroundings (remember I switched into Science from Social Science) or due to me (sort of paranoia). So, for quite recently I have not been doing anything at all. This evening I came across the YAMC website. When I saw the youtube video "Inside Burma" Part 1 and "Inside Burma" Part 2, tears were streaming on my face.

However, people DO ask me about my country. My close friends and teachers who care about me. That time, I take time and explain them about my country's situation carefully and if I don't know, I don't cheat; I just say I have not read the information you want to know and so on. So, basically, I want to share my country's situation in a more private personal relations rather than propagation.
I am afraid that people will always think of me as political animal. Part of it is because of the Facebook thing too. Facebook is a sort of dangerous site to propagate news. Therefore, I stopped using it and now I feel detached to some of my friends who are not on my gtalk list.

I am so much behind social science after all. What shall I do?

I am sorry if I said anything offensive. I did not mean to.

PLEASE DO COMMENT ON MY POST.

Ps. For political themes for Canadian Identity, I am facing difficulties because I don't understand the political system here.
Phew... studying Canadian history, I feel like it. However, my reading rate is so slow.

A student’s responsibility in Canada

This blog entry is about a student’s diary sharing good and bad things facing while studying in North America. We should share our knowledge, mishap and setbacks while studying. I have some other blogs too that I write regularly anyways I want to give a bit of rant about passport, study permit and visa.

This is my story. I am supposed to attend a conference this Feb 20th yet, unfortunately my passport is expiring in 3 months. The U.S counselor did not issue the visa because I don’t have 6 months of valid Myanmar passport. I am NOT blaming anyone for my mishap. It is my own responsibility as “an international student studying in Canada” to renew my passport in hand within 6 months of expiring date. I learn a life lesson and I would like to share my trouble with my friends, so that my friends won’t do the same mistake as I am facing right now. Or my friends already known this fact that I might be a sole idiot.

Life is so busy here. Study, Work and then at the same time I cannot do everything on time. But, I know it is totally my own responsibility to renew it earlier and I have been trying hard to update my passport urgently. Anyways. This is it. In addition, I have to renew my study permit (students in Canada are supposed to extend the study permit earlier because the process takes about a month) at the same time.

ps. happy valentine’s day.